Chinese Pencil Pushers

      

Sometimes, when I'm relaxing, whether sitting by a crackling fire on a cold winter night or lazily swaying in a hammock on warm breezy days, I let my mind wander until I drift off, as it were, to a place where all of the cares and worries of this world are left behind. Unfortunately, there are those moments when the reverie is disrupted by thoughts about things that have absolutely nothing to do with my usual fantasy involving a bottle of bubbly and me chasing a couple of freshly scrubbed half naked geisha girls with silky smooth skin the color of plum blossoms around in the garden while beneath the glow of the Autumn moon. The disruptions to my daydreams and fantasies used to be worrisome thoughts about slow pay clients, a woodpecker that pecked holes the size of Little Richard's head in the side of my house, and a deranged garbage man who, perhaps intentionally, would virtually destroy perfectly good garbage cans within a month's time. But those thoughts that disrupted my reverie have been pushed aside by a new intruder called the "dollar store". Why is that? I wonder. Could it be because I am somehow concerned that 99.7% of everything that can be bought at a dollar store is made in China and that these stores are multiplying faster than a Chinese store clerk calculating profits on an abacus after drinking a pot of expresso coffee? Who's to say? I guess I can't help thinking about how the Chinese economy continues to churn out massive amounts of mass produced junk as its GNP soars into the stratosphere year after year while sustaining enormous trade imbalances with its trading partners. But then it all makes sense when one realizes the vast number of people that live in that "developing" country and how fundamentally easy it is for multi-national corporations to pay, in many cases, much less than 50 cents an hour to a veritable slave from an ever abundant labor pool of expendable workers in a country with no labor unions.

 

When the "evil empire" , or the U.S.S.R. (as it was more commonly known), came to an end, it must have made those Chinese bureaucrats more nervous than a cat on a hot tin roof to see Russia throw off the yokes of Communism for the excesses of Capitalism. The only reason why that happened, though, is because the  Communist status quo could no longer fool the proletariat by selling it promises in the form of a system which proclaims that all men are created equal (at least as far as the state is concerned). But as anyone with a modicum of intelligence will tell you, erudite proclamations often look good on paper, whereas the application of those sorts of things, well... that's a horse of a different color.

 

At any rate, at the time of the breakup of the Soviet Union, the Chinese pencil pushers must have wondered if Russia would become a shining beacon of prosperity that the Chinese proletariat would take resentful notice of, but it never happened, and there's no doubt that the CPP (Chinese Pencil Pushers) were damn glad that it didn't, either. So while Russia's fledgling democracy went from no better than before to maybe even worse (economically speaking), the CPP watched, took notes, and eventually realized that by creating pockets of capitalism, or free market zoning, if you will, the CPP could have their cake and eat it too. In other words, they could gradually build a Capitalist economy, but only in select areas or "special economic zones" (SEZ), and yet still retain control over the people by never allowing them to vote or voice their opinions freely, either in a public setting or through the media. When you think about it, the Chinese bureaucracy (CPP) is damn clever. Since the seeds of a post-industrial revolution had been planted at Tianamen, though suppressed, it's not unreasonable to think that it wouldn't happen again in the near future. So the pencil pushers beat the revolutionaries to the punch, and now it's okay for folks to go shopping in China, which is what most people want to do, anyway. However, there's more to this picture than meets the eye...much more.

The Would-be Pugilist

        

 

Out of any given number of people surveyed, how many can honestly say that their first day in first grade was a bit scary? The percentage would probably be high if those surveyed answered honestly, but no doubt very few people would readily admit that they experienced a sort of weak knee sweaty palm sensation as they walked down the aisles of their respective new school surroundings surrounded by strangers who were for the most part considerably larger. If there’s a reason why they didn’t experience that kind of fear, it must be because they don’t remember such an awe inspiring moment.

The kid remembers. Except what he remembers is running full tilt along the concrete walkway of the one story annex building at Ortega Elementary School and sliding to a screeching halt in his well-worn canvas sneakers in front of his first grade class room. He even remembers the teacher’s name; Mrs. Echols. Or was it Ms. Echols? Well, whichever it was, her name was Echols, that much he remembers. As he came to a stop, he jumped through the door and nonchalantly headed toward the back of the room. The teacher gave the students a look that said, I’m the boss around here. Now, find a desk and pay attention ‘cause I’m gonna do you some learnin’. Actually, she didn’t give a look quite like that but that’s the way most people speak in the South. The long hand on the clock was straight up. The kid had just made the bell.

He found a desk in the back of the classroom near the window where he could communicate with the birds and scope the class for potential pals. Everything went well for the first month or so. He even developed a crush on a cutie pie. She was hard to get next to, however, as there was competition. The competition’s name was Brian. The kid and Brian didn’t like each other and for obvious reasons. The object of their attention and contention was a girl named Amy and she was workin’ it like a princess at the prom. She had those boys steppin’ and fetchin’ like their heads were on fire.  She was milkin' it for all it was worth. You get the picture. She was the cutest girl in the class.

Eventually, which is to say, within a relatively short period of time, things got a little out of hand and Brian and the kid came to blows. They were scrappin’, b-slappin’, and knockin’ each other in the head somewhat fiercely. The other kids were encouraging one or the other to “Get him! Rip his head off! (not literally of course) and other similar ring-side exclamatory remarks.

 

The teacher had left the classroom briefly but had returned about the time the kid had Brian in a headlock and was giving him a wedgie . She broke up the fight, but to everyone’s amazement and joy, she announced that the little street fighters would be able to continue their brawl during recess in a more appropriate venue, namely the playground. In the meantime, she told them to open their books to page 33 and read the chapter about Lucy, the Chimpanzee.

 

The animosity had been bottled up long enough. The kid resolved to put Brian in his place and show everyone who the king of the school yard was. Brian was thinking the same. At the sound of the bell, the teacher and the students marched single file out of the classroom. The early Autumn weather was warm and sunny on that day so the students took off their shoes just outside the classroom annex before going to the playground. The teacher had brought along some boxers’ gloves and told the kid and Brian to lace-up. Brian’s buddy, Bud, helped Brian get into a pair of well fitted Everlast gloves while the kid’s pal, Carl did the same, only the kid’s gloves were held together with duct tape and were so large they reminded him of what circus clowns use. The kid stared daggers at Brian and Brian stared darts, both with equal amounts of deadly disdain and vengeful purpose.

When both boys had their gloves secured, the teacher called them forward and she blew her whistle and Brian threw a haymaker.

The kid was wise and jumped back and dodged the swing and Brian spun around almost 360 degrees from the exertion. The kid was not at all happy to be laced up with the over-sized gloves. They were hindering him so he would just have to be creative. He rushed in with his left elbow and jabbed Brian sharply in the side and knocked him to the ground. The teacher stopped the fight and made it clear that a fair fight did not include using elbows, knees, or feet.

 

So this teacher obviously thought it was fair to give one opponent a pair of cool Everlast gloves and to the other, with whom she must have had issues, a pair of gloves that once belonged to Bozo, but why? Truth be told, Brian was a brown-noser who had played the teacher like a Stradivari from day one. Damn fine pickle! Alright, so when life hands you the proverbial lemon you make a damn fine lemon pie, considered the kid.

 

As the two brawlers came at each other, the boy with Bozo’s gloves lowered his head and butted Brian in the breadbasket. Brian let forth a loud “Umph!” but he kept his footing and rained down on the kid with a right hook, and some kind of wild punch that dazed the kid. The kid had mostly flailed with his useless Bozo gloves. While Brian was pummelling him, the kid was able to pull his hand out of one the oversized gloves and with the laces wrapped around his hand he swung it like he was hurling a

hammer and clocked Brian up-side his head and then whipped it around again, this time hitting Brian square on the side of his face. Brian’s eyes bugged out. Clearly, he was stunned.

The kid was about to deliver the coup de grace while Brian was senseless, but Brian snapped out of it and gave the kid a wicked counterpunch and knocked the kid to the ground where he lay exhausted while the students counted down in unison. It was over. Brian had won, maybe not fair and square, but there was no point whining about it. The fact was, the kid wasn’t a fair fighter either. So, fair enough. Still he wasn’t pleased about it. It wasn’t so much that he had lost since one can’t always win. He just found it intolerable watching practically the whole class dancing around with Brian hoisted up on their shoulders, yelling, “Brian beat the kid! Brian is the king! Yea! Brian! Go Brian! You showed him, Brian! Blah! Blah! Rah! Rah!”

“Enough, already!” the kid yelled angrily at the excessive show of pomp and pride.

Sitting next to the kid on the sandy ground was Carl who was, evidently, the only friend the kid had. Carl tried to soothe the kid’s wounded pride. “Hey don’t worry about it. I beat up Brian last year and made him cry. At least you gave it your best.”

The kid snarled and he wasn’t soothed, at all. In fact, he decided that he shouldn’t sit there stewing about it in the sandlot. It was time for action.

“Let’s go!”

“Where to”, answered Carl to which the kid replied, “You’ll see." Surreptitiously, like spies, they stealthily moved from pine to bush and from bush to pine being very careful not to be spotted.

When they had made their way back to the classroom, Carl asked, “So, what’s up?” The kid looked at Carl and then down at the rows of shoes lined up in front of the classroom and said, “These shoes are going up… on the roof! Start throwing!

“What?” said Carl.

“I said, start throwing! Recess will be over soon. We need to hurry!” 

“Are you crazy?”

“Maybe. I don’ t know and I don’t care. Do it!”

So our anti-heroes started throwing shoes bing bang boom as fast as they could grab them and hurled them onto the roof. When Carl came to his shoes, he hesitated and looked at the kid who was winding up. He seemed to be trying out for the Red Sox. “What about our shoes?”

“Don’t be an idiot. You have to throw yours up there too or else you’ll give us away.”

“Okay!” and with a reluctant heave, Carl tossed his shoes on to the roof.

The Kid and Carl had done the deed. They had crossed the Rubicon and were well on their way to being expelled if their deed were ever exposed. The kid didn’t care, though. He felt a great sense of relief and satisfaction at having expunged the pangs of distress at the kind of defeat that is rubbed cruelly in one’s face.

But they were clever boys or maybe just lucky as it was never discovered who had been responsible for the mysterious and curious incident.

However, just as carefully and quickly as before, they returned to the playground. Nobody had even noticed that they had been MIA, as it were. There were too many kids running around to keep an eye on. Who would have noticed a couple of persona non grata, anyway? When the teacher and the students returned to the classroom and discovered their shoes missing, the looks and cries of despair and confusion were almost too much to handle for Carl as he was frozen with fear at possibly being made but the kid could just barely contain himself as he struggled to hold back the laughter. Somehow they were able to keep up the charade and everyone went home barefooted.

Epilogue

 

Eventually, the shoes were discovered but by that time of course they were ruined from the rain and cracked from the sun and no one was none the wiser.

The Crackpot Crow

 

 

 

 

The majority of people probably know how intelligent and clever crows are. But did you know that, just like humans, they suffer from mental disorders? Actually, not really sure that they suffer from things such as depression, OCD, or other maladies of the mind, but it would seem that way just based on what I observed recently. I think it's fair to say that, at the least, they perform rituals...just like humans!

As per my usual schedule, I was waiting for a train at a major train station, and enduring the plethora of god damn noises that the train company  apparently (and perhaps passive agressively) has no problem assaulting peoples' ears with; construction noises, various repetitive loud announcements, screeching train wheels, and so forth. At any rate, there I was looking  down rather vacantly at the train tracks from a platform when I spied a sleek luxuriantly feathered crow between the tracks a short distance away. It was busily engaged in some activity but I couldn't make out exactly what it was that it was engaged in. I moved closer to where it was but it was so busy that no doubt under normal circumstances, it would have surely flown away as I approached. However, in this case, It was obviously too intent on seemingly accomplishing some task that it completely ignored me.

The rail tracks are filled in with large chunks of sharp edged gravel and it was this that the crow was busily sorting through with its beautifully polished sharpened beak, picking up one rock and moving it to another spot then picking up another and moving it to a different spot and so on for several minutes. And it wasn't  just moving large chunks of gravel, some of which seemed hardly possible for the crow to move, but it was also plucking tufts of grass growing between the rocks and covering the spots from which the crow had moved the rocks. I wondered, what on Earth could this fella be doing, apart from the obvious? It was undoubtedly the most curious thing I had seen in quite some time. At some point the crow must have realized that I was watching it, with some degree of amazement no less (no one around me seemed to even notice what appeared to be for all intents and purposes some sort of compulsive ritual) and possibly out of embarrassment or maybe just because it just wanted to take a break, he hopped up onto a rail and began to stretch his legs and wings. But after a moment or two the gravel which the crow had such a curious and keen interest in lured him back and he began his sorting task once again.

Again, after a period of sorting and plucking, the crow suddenly stopped and and stared at me for a moment and then with its pristine beak picked up a hefty chunk of gravel and flew across to the other side of the train tracks above another platform where there was a ledge. A few minutes later, a crowd of people began to arrive and were conveniently enough (for the crow at least) walking toward the bombardier.  

They say that crows have an uncanny ability for remembering peoples' faces and is depicted in fables and myths as being very cunning. In one fable a crow comes up to a pitcher and knows that his beak is too short to reach the water that is too far down in the pitcher and he realizes that if he tips it over, all the water will fall out. So what does the crow do? The crow then proceeds to pick up pebbles and places them in the pitcher so the water may rise and he can reach it to relieve his thirst. It's not a far stretch that crows are not incapable of that kind of cleverness which brings me back to the bombardier crow. As he was perched on the ledge with the sizeable rock at his feet looking toward the oncoming traffic, it seemed as if he were patiently waiting for someone, maybe eagerly so. Unfortunately, the train I had been waiting for had just arrived and blocked my view. There was no way to know what had happened after that but we can guess with reasonable accuracy as to what the mischeivous and clever crow did.

Ouch! 

The Hotel of Tomorrow

                                   

                               

 

There are people,  hotel trend setters to be more specific, who  undoubtedly need to be on some sort of medication (or "meds" if you prefer). In fact, they probably are on 'meds', just not the kind that are prescribed for an actual medical condition. According to a report entitled "The Hotel of Tomorrow Project", apparently certain individuals in the hospitality industry believe that they can go into a bank with a business plan that will revolutionize the whole concept of hotel accommodations, amenities, and services. These people, who must be insane, see the hotel of the future as one that will be equipped with rooms that have walls that can instantly change color, carpeting that can morph into whatever texture pleases the soles of a guest's feet, and bathtubs that can change shapes to accommodate the various body shapes of the hotel guests. However, if we are to assume that such things are possible, and that the people who stay in such places have got more money than Aunt Jemima's got grits, then we can also imagine what a conversation between a hotel guest and a desk clerk might sound like at the hotel of tomorrow. The following is an example.

 

Clerk: G'day mate. Throw a shrimp on the barbie?

Guest: What?

Clerk: Can I help you?

Guest: ...Yeahh, I'd like a room please.

Clerk: Alrighty. What's your favorite color?

Guest: Gold, but what does that have to do with the price of tea in China?

Clerk: Well sir, our in-house decorating services personnel can provide a wide range of design features to choose from to make your stay a pleasant one, indeed.

Guest: Don't mess with me, pal. I've been in crowded airports, filthy airplanes, and smelly taxis all day long and I'm not in a joking mood.

Clerk: I hear you loud and clear sir, and I can assure you that I am not joking.

Guest: You better not be, or I will make sure that you get your walking papers. Are we clear?

Clerk: Yes sir, crystal clear, sir... So you're favorite color is gold?

Guest: Yep, on second thought, perhaps gold walls are not really conducive to restful sleep. Make that violet with gold trim, if that's possible.

Clerk: Certainly sir. Have a look at our menu to choose a style of carpeting to suit your taste.

Guest: ...taste?

Clerk: Yes sir, you can choose from chocolate, vanilla, Neapolitan, orange sherbet and spumoni.

Guest: Dude, what did I tell you about messing with me?

Clerk: I am not messing with you sir. These are the colors to choose from. Also, these are the textures:  shag, plush velvet, and astro turf.

Guest: Okay, give me the room with the orange sherbet Austin Powers shag. A couple of broads are coming by later, so that'll help to make things more festive.

Clerk: Certainly sir. We will only need a few minutes to paint the walls and change out the carpet.

Guest: (disconcerted expression) Are you telling me that you don't already have a room with those colors and style of carpeting?

Clerk: No sir, not at this very moment.

Guest: Well...when can I have the room?

Clerk: Just as soon as Pedro gets his crew out of there.

Guest: He's already in the room?

Clerk: Yes sir.

Guest: How long does it take to do those things?

Clerk: As I told you before sir, just a few minutes. He's very fast.

Guest: I don't understand. You are actually customizing my room and remodeling the whole damn thing, even though I'm staying for only one night? Is that correct?

Clerk: Yes sir, and it's not exactly cheap either.

Guest: So, how much is this going to set me back?

Clerk: Are you a member of Triple A or Diners' Club?

Guest: No.

Clerk: Well sir, let me look at your shoes. (clerk leans over the counter) Those are some really nice loafers. Are they Corinthian leather or horsehide?

Guest: What the...! Just give me the room rate, would ya, pal?

Clerk: Of course sir, the rate is $988.79 per day.

Guest: Just what the hell is wrong with you? Do I look like some kind of jerk? I'm gonna jump over that counter and give you a thorough beating, if you don't come up with a figure that is considerably more reasonable.

Clerk: Yes sir. How about a 10% discount?

Follow the Money

 

 

 

What it comes down to is this; the global elites who control the U.S.( a corporatocracy) are apparently more effective at steering agendas than Russia’s oligarchs or China’s rulers are and that's why the global elites (so-called lluminati) appear to be winning the geo-political war against Russian nationalists at this stage in the game, if you will. American allies in Asia and the EU and NATO seem to have Russia (and China) pinned down, at least for the time being. Based on patterns in recent years, A typical scenario  for the global elites (someone such as the politically active multi-billionaire Soros), in their relentless quest for world domination, would be to finance highly organized and well-funded NGO groups and send them into certain areas of the world that have some high value natural resource or is in some way strategically advantageous to the globalists so as to instigate protests and other anti-government actions until perhaps the governments of those respective countries collapse. The elites who control the West undoubtedly had some hand in doing that in Libya and Egypt in recent years. They’re doing it in Syria and Ukraine now. They are continuously trying to stir things up in Iran and have tried to gain control in Cuba by constantly trying to assassinate Castro. There are many other instances. This outrageousness is all paid for by American taxpayers who are like mushrooms kept in the dark and fed manure because they (Americans) are funding an incredibly huge military budget to the tune of well over 600 billion dollars a year just so the globalists can take away more of our freedom and make us, the people of this world, slaves.

Back to the global elite and why they’re more effective than Russia and China at maintaining control. It’s rather simple. They use eugenics as a method of population control, they put fluoride in the water, mercury in vaccines, process food with cancer causing GMOs, all of these things and more of which are either poisonous or in some way disrupt our body’s natural functioning processes. These sorts of things lower IQs and weaken our cognitive abilities. It is scientifically proven. It is on record. You can look it up. In fact look up everything mentioned. Don’t take my word for it. Search the word SERALINI and find out the disturbing truth about genetically modified food.

 

China’s elites have tried to curb population growth with their one child policy but there are other governments that are, ironically enough, using taxpayers’ money to be used for population control methods. All kinds of chemicals, fillers, coloring, and preservatives are used by food manufacturers to make processed foods.‘They’ also manipulate the value of currencies, cause inflation, create recessions, depressions, etc. They’ve been doing this for a long time, since the time of Napoleon, in fact, but most effectively ever since the Federal Reserve was founded in 1913. The Federal Reserve (the Fed) is essentially a printer of fiat money that is not actually backed by gold (or anything of value for that matter) since there are no longer gold coins in circulation that an individual can use to barter with. The global elites drive up inflation (increases in food prices and gas prices have doubled since Obama was elected!) and they devalue the dollar so some or many younger people are left with no other choice but to join the military which enables the Defense Department to do the globalists' bidding and blow up 'unfriendly' governments and install ‘friendly’ subservient governments that abide by the illuminati globalist’s agenda. ‘They’ also launch false flag attacks like the one in Ukraine with the air liner and the one with the Kuwaiti ambassador’s daughter lying and posing as a nurse in testimony, where she said she was in a hospital in Kuwait where Iraqi soldiers threw babies out of incubators on the floor to leave them to die. Oh no! We gotta save the babies from those devilish Iraqis, Let’s go to war! But it was really because Saddam Hussein was going to stop trading Iraqi oil using the dollar. You see how that works? And of course we believe it, because MSM says it’s true.

Putin and Russia’s elite are old fashioned and have a strong sense of nationalistic pride but it seems they are ashamed of their communist past, and rightly so considering the mass murdering Stalin and the Bolsheviks' assault on the Russian citizenry. It’s on record, Putin and other Russian elites are very close to the Russian Orthodox Church and were disciples of Alexander Solzhenitsyn who was a World War 2 Soviet vet who was sent to a gulag on petty charges. He obviously became anti soviet after that and advocated a very strong nationalistic Russian government model after the communist regime’s collapse. The globalists’ have absorbed a number of the former Soviet Republics in Eastern Europe and are trying to do the same in Central Asia. It may be only a matter of time before the Russian government collapses (and China also), and then the globalists will likely bring in the world government.

The number of crises (the so-called “great recession”, Russia / Ukraine problem, bailouts, immigration reform, gun control issue, etc.) going on right now at the same time appears to be done to create instability and eventually bring about martial law to then collapse the country and set up the one world government like what they’re doing in the EU, for example, Greece. Who knows? Maybe ‘they’are even bringing Ebola disease here to the U.S. to cause a frightening epidemic that could then bring about martial law. Obama already has the authority to do with this with the so-called Patriot Act and the recent executive order he signed in which it apparently states that he can have any one detained who is displaying symptoms of a respiratory illness. Then you have what’s going on in Ukraine which is meant to back Russia up even farther into a corner and then start a war which would conceivably destroy Russia ( with most unpleasant repercussions) which would be carved up by the globalists. Lastly you have borders over run with more illegal immigrants coming into the U.S. overloading the welfare system paid for by taxpaying Americans. The Democratic Party can then get in a stronger position of power and finally take away American’s guns which would create a backlash and a civil war which would likely be the end of America as we know it, coupled with the currency collapsing by design also.

These ‘people’ (devils) are assaulting us through every means you can imagine and they brag about it in books, interviews etc. Again, look it up. They hate humanity, and they hate that we have freedom or some variant of it. Now you ask, who might these so-called people be? They are, in fact, the ones who control the Federal Reserve, CEOs on Wall Street, the IMF banksters, the World Bank, the EU, the UN, NATO, elements in our own government, and multi-national corporations, such as Monsanto, et al.

The Interpreter and His Dream

Some years ago when I visited Japan on business, I met an Englishman who worked at an import company as an interpreter. At first glance, he impressed me as someone who could have procured a very lucrative income in Hollywood playing the part of a henchman or mad scientist. But in spite of his somewhat intimidating countenance, he was actually a likeable and charming fellow whose personality was uncannily like that of John Steed from the Avengers, a television show that was popular in the 60s.

In the traditional sense he was what one might call a 'gentleman', with his Savile Row sense of fashion and an impeccable command of the English language. But there was one problem. He didn't have the kind of money that a gentleman normally has, which is to say, a pot full (at least as far as I could tell). If he did, he most likely would not have been working in a cramped and dingy office, unless he is the sort of person who somehow finds virtue or merit in testing his resolve to do so. In any case, while sipping suds at an ex-pat watering hole one evening with the interpreter, some interesting things were revealed. The gentleman, whom I will now refer to as the fashion fascist, due to his fondness for expensive designer suits and shoes, as alluded to previously, mentioned that before he came to Japan, he had been experiencing a so-called "re-occurring dream". In the dream, he said that he was a Japanese soldier on a South Pacific island during the Second World War. He described how U.S. soldiers had landed on the island and were successfully advancing. The fashion fascist continued to say that the American G.I.s eventually overtook the Japanese positions and that a G.I. bayoneted him and he died or rather the dream ended at that point (that's not a pun). That's when I interrupted his story and mentioned that perhaps he had too much of an interest in war movies. He assured me that he did not. Still, there was some doubt. He said that for many years the disturbing chimera would visit him while he slept, but when he came to Japan he no longer experienced the re-occurring nightmare. I asked him if he was able to get a good look at the G.I. who had stuck him with the bayonet and he said, no. Then I said that maybe the soldier who had bayoneted him was perhaps myself and that by some act of karma, if you will, we had to meet each other to completely expunge any residual details, possibly still lurking, of that horrific nightmare that he had repeatedly experienced.

At that moment it suddenly occurred to me that I had missed my true calling and then I wondered how on Earth I could not have noticed how perceptive I was about these sorts of things before. As I stood at the bar, I imagined myself sitting in a burnished saddle leather chair in a richly paneled office with certificates and degrees dangling on the walls. But alas, the pleasant daydream turned to regret as I saw myself jumping out the window to escape the endless stream of disturbing dreams and schemes as related to me by my patients who seemed to have little self control with their apparent need to reveal their innermost secrets and distorted fantasies, even though it was my job to lend a supportive ear and to be paid handsomely to do so.

As for the fashion fascist, the last I heard, he had quit his job and joined the Foreign Legion.

 

No Worries!

 

 

A waiter in a fancy restaurant goes up to a table and greets his customers. After taking the customer's order, the waiter says, "Thank you."

The customer says, "No worries!"

or...

A shopper purchases an item at a department store. The customer hands money to the clerk and the clerk says, "Thank you" and the customer replies, "No worries."

I've been hearing this expression more and more frequently these days, and no offense to my Aussie friends, but I wonder; since when in the U.S. did we decide that the folks "down under" have a better way of acknowledging someones appreciation? Personally, I think the expression should remain in the "land down under" or, at the least, not be bandied about so haphazardly or thrown around so preponderously that it becomes a veritable cliche. Besides, it doesn't even make sense unless someone apologizes. Then, it's okay. For example; "I'm sorry I spilled coffee in your lap!"

Then the individual who is recovering from shock and awe can say, No worries!!! (or sue for damages).

 

And while we're on the subject of words and phrases that get on one's nerves, how about the term "annoying".  A woman whom I used to know would say, "That is SO annoying!" and then all of a sudden everyone in the office was saying, "He is SO annoying!" or "She is SO annoying!" or  "You are SO annoying" Within a matter of weeks, it seemed the whole city was using that word. For some unknown reason, the word "irritating" was no longer used, even though it's  a perfectly useful word to describe the same feeling. In any event, The woman who was always SO annoyed is the same broad with the nasal inflection that used "No worries!" all the damn time. She is an expert at propagating memes, no doubt.

 

Curiously (there's a good adverb for ya),  gay people or should I say "LGBT" folk , to use the current vernacular, evidently prefer to use the word "annoying" (as opposed to the less popular adjective, "irritating"). My guess is that this kind of meme (annoying) is one that replicates more effectively within that sort of demographic. I would venture to bet that if we did a survey with our Twittering friends (or real friends and co-workers) to see which words irritate them the most, we will likely find that someone we thought was straight is actually in the closet.

Lately, I've been saying to people, "Have a nice day!" I know it's overused so that makes me guilty of calling the kettle black but I like saying it! Actually though, I'm doing a test to see if it becomes a meme and spreads to Australia.

When my wife and I went shopping not long ago, store clerks would greet us with, "How are you guys today?" or "What can I help you guys with, today"? And this is the honest to goodness truth; I stared at one dude for a moment and in a cheerful tone and I said, "Do you see more than one guy standing here?" And dude replied, "Sir, it's a universal expression used for greeting anyone, male or female." "Well alrighty then. If you say so."

I'm out of the loop, I suppose. No... In fact, I know I'm out of the loop (how far outside of the loop, I can't say), but the fact that I didn't know what LGBT meant until just recently is a good indication that I'm no longer hip to the jargon of the day. Before I learned the meaning of that acronym, I thought it was some type of sandwich.