Florida Blues / part 3
The story you are about to read is true. From a collection of short stories entitled, The Little River Outlaws and Other Stories of Adventure.
About half way to Key West, they picked up a couple of bedraggled looking backpackers. As the dharma bums were cramming themselves and their backpacks into the cluttered back seat, a patrol car came into view heading toward them from the opposite direction.
“Man! Are you cats ever lucky,” said Leon . “You know it’s against the law to hitch hike on this highway, don’t you? That cop driving by coulda fined yo asses mightily, and thrown ya in the pokey too.”
The rucksack wanderers watched unconcernedly as the patrol car drove away.
“Didn’t know that,”said dharma bum 1.
“So we’ve learned”, replied dharma bum 2. Roy wondered if Leon was having a bit of fun at their expense.
That was the last of any conversation for quite a while. During that time of reflection and quiet introspection, Roy had noticed a gloominess come over Leon. He seemed to be brooding about something. It made Roy uncomfortable.
Eventually it was Leon who interrupted the silence. “I hope ya’ll know how to swim,” he said.
A puzzled expression formed on Roy’s face.
One of the rucksack wanderers leaned forward and said, “What?”
“What I said was, I hope ya’ll know how to swim.”
Both dharma bums looked at each other with the same expressions that Roy had on his face.
“ ‘Cause I’m gonna drive this heah vehicle into the drink just before the next bridge”, continued Leon in a tone that suggested complete seriousness.
The dharma bums chuckled.
“You think I’m jivin’, don’tcha?”
They laughed again half-heartedly. “I don’t know. Are you?,” asked dharma bum 1.
Leon didn’t reply.
Roy kept his cool but, no doubt, he was concerned.
Suddenly, a bridge loomed into view. Leon gripped the steering wheel tightly and stared straight ahead with a look of iron-willed determination. Tension and suspense were building up to such a fever pitch that, at any moment, Roy was ready to bolt as were certainly the other passengers in the back seat.
When the moment of truth was at hand, Leon slowly turned the car away from the road. At that instant when the vehicle had completely left the blacktop and was on the gravel shoulder, he veered it quickly back onto the asphalt and drove onto the bridge. “I just realized that if I didn’t live to see tomorrow, my wife would get all of that insurance money. That would not be cool,” he said.
Thank goodness for that, thought Roy.
The backseat boys did not understand the relevancy of that statement, but laughed nervously, anyway.
Roy only smiled, but it wasn’t because he was amused. In any case, he couldn’t be sure if it was some sort of sick joke or if their driver was truly a deeply troubled individual. Perhaps it was a combination of both, he thought.
Leon had obviously become a likely road hazard should he continue to drive. At the first opportune moment, when he pulled into a filling station to get a snack and the nerve-wrecked hitchhikers had quickly departed, Roy politely but firmly suggested that he should take the wheel. When they got back to the car, Leon slumped onto the front seat on the passenger side. Roy heaved a sigh of relief as he started the car and drove onto the highway. While he was eating some potato chips, Leon slid on to the floorboard and rested his head against the seat and passed out.
(...to be continued)
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